


Minecraft Skeleton Sexy Smexy Time

by Anonymous



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Multi, What Have I Done, what did we just write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:15:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21738964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Author 1:OmgWe should all write a giant storyGuysLet’s write a crack Minecraft smut fanfictionAnd we can make terrible illustrations to go along with itLike in one word storyBut instead, it can be one sentence storyOk I’m startingFeel free to add
Relationships: Original Character/Original Character/Original Character
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9
Collections: Anonymous





	Minecraft Skeleton Sexy Smexy Time

**Author's Note:**

> A1 = Author 1  
> A2 = Author 2  
> A3 = Author 3  
> Etc...  
> Bold = Author speaking

Once upon a time in Minecraftia, a young skeleton by the name of Jesus was roaming.

Jesus was fucking gay as hell. He really needed another man skeleton to bone with.

However, he was very lonely due to the fact the ravine was located at 69420, 69420 where the chunks were never loaded.

But, of course, Jesus wasn't your average Minecraftian.

He had the powers of a unicron.

Jesus used his unicron powers to fly out of the ravine and straight ~~gay~~ into the nether to find a nice long, dark, thick, skeleton to bone.

Adam was your everyday average wither skeleton. His family never loved him. He was nothing.

**A1: @A3, your turn!**

Bro but he was cute af tho. Jesus was like "damn we eatin good tonight."

Jesus found Adam at the edge of Adam’s nether fortress, alone, and crying. “Omg what’s wrong bro” Jesus says to Adam as he slowly approaches the handsome wither skeleton.

**A2: hagu are you going?**

**A1: I skipped your turn :(**

**A1: You should go**

**A3: ^**

**A2: well if she's writing something**

**A2: oh ok**

”Bro my fucking boyfriend just broke up with me and stole all of my ice cream money. Now I don’t know what to do.” Adam sobs without eye sockets and really shouldn’t be producing tears right now.

"Bro what if we went on a totally fake date to get icecream and make him jelly" Jesus said as he slid down and sat next to the sobbing bone pile.

“Who tf are you?” Adam says, looking up to find the most white, pure looking, angelic skeleton he’s ever seen. Adam could feel his spiritual heart thumping in his nonexistent chest.

“I’m uH...” Jesus hesitated. If this didn’t work out he’d totally be like, 100% embarrassed. Confirmed. “I’m Susej.”

**A3:wHO IS SUSEJ**

**A2: he is susej**

**A1: Jesus backwards**

**A3: ph my gof**

**A3: im so stupid I**

"Susej? What kind of bottom ass name is that?" Adam scoffed, definitely not a tsun move of him.

”H-hey! I’m not a bottom, I will have you know that I’ve ridden many an ender dragon! I bet your name is so bottom that you’re in the void below the nether....” Jesus blushed at the thought of being dominated by the tall, dark, handsome, gay, wither skeleton in front of him.

“I wish I was... maybe people would leave me alone for once. Like you. Get out of here thot,” Adam said. He turned away being edgy again.

"I-I.." Jesus stuttered, blushing and trying to gain the confidence back. "A-Adam please.. it's not safe in the nether!!" He squeaked, launching at the edgy wither.

**A2:ADAM NEVER DAID HIS nAME  
A2:sUSEJ U RUINED URSELF  
**

”B-baka! Get away from me you weirdo!” Adam hits Susej (Jesus) and runs into the nether fortress

**A2:what is this**

**A1: Adam is a weeb**

**A1: that's why he's in the nether**

Jesus took a moment to register what just happened. “Wow that was kinky. I wonder if he’s actually into me,” Jesus said, coming to a conclusion. Despite Adam’s obvious outburst, Jesus followed after the wither skeleton.

**A3:DNSKF LISTEN HES JESUS HE CAN FO WHAT HE W ANT S**

**A3:dO**

**A2:AJDKDKKFF**

**A3:I**

**A3:IKF UCNGUNF**

**A2:JALFFKSLGLHP**

**A1:KEYBOARDSMASH**

"Wh-What the hell do you want from me you stalker???" Adam yelled as he got all defensive, yet.. somehow ended up in his room.

**A2:oh no**

”U-uh” Susej was very nervous realizing he was in a bedroom, alone, with a hot, large, black, wither skeleton. “I-I... I’d like to uhh... fertilize your crops with m-my bonemeal...” Susej managed to stutter to Adam while cornering him.

**A2:wHAT THEUESJCKSKFG**

**A3:I FUCKING CACKLED**

“Please don’t... my mom took my crafting table. I don’t want her to take yours,” Adam said. “I can’t make bonemeal anymore... I can’t let that happen to you.”

**A1:omg**

**A3:I**

**A3:i dONT KNOW HOW TO CONTINUE**

**A2:JSLFLFLS**

**A1:make something up**

**A1:I’m gonna post this on ffn and ao3 anonymously with all of our authors’ conversations when we’re done**

**A2:AKDKFKSKDG**

**A1:we’re gonna be famous**

**A3:OHNO**

**A1:but anonymous**

**A1:it’s ok no one will know besides people on the server**

**A2: teehee emoji x 3**

**A1:just continue the story already**

"L-Listen.. y-you.. make me want to spawn s-skeletons.. o-only if you w-want of course!!" The twink Jesus shouted, as he shoved Adam against a wall.

**A3:my dignity? gone**

**A2:IM CRYING WHAT IS THID**

**A1:this is the crack I want  
**

**A3:I DONR KN O W**

**A3:JFJAJD DO NOT**

**A2:someones probablt watching us and cackling like crazy  
**

**A3:@ literally everyone in this server, id like to say im sorry but also yw B)**

**A2:s ame**

**A2:I’m laughing way too hard**

“oh...” Adam blushes (as much as a skeleton can) and looks at Susej. “Hey... can I tell you something? I think Susej is a really hot, exotic-sounding name,” Adam whispers into susej’s ear. “J-just be gentle with me...”

**A2:IMDCUKFIDNG**

**A3:IM TRYINF TO JARD TO NOT WHEEZE INFRONT OF MY STEPMOTBER  
**

“Don’t worry I will.” Jesus proceeds to rip off one of Adam’s bones and places down a crafting table. He then makes bonemeal with it and then starts slapping Adam in the head with the bonemeal.

**A1:ajdjeiwsehudeij**

**A1:omfg**

**A3:i**

**A3:IM**

"A-Ah! Susej t-that's a little r-rough don't you think?" Adam winced out in pain, so much for gentle.

**A2:I'm crying**

”Shut up” Susej growled “It’ll grow back in time. Just don’t make too much noise. We wouldn’t want your mom seeing you here with a crafting table.” 

“C-Could we at least use seeds too? I have a pot over there to plant them in...”

**A3:IMNFUVKJFN**

"Hmm... Only if you say the magic words~" Susej said as he smirked at Adam.

**A2:MAGIC WORF SAIDKFLSLF**

**A3:SKDHS GOOD LUCK**

”M-magic wordS? Wtf?...” Adam is very confused by the mention of magic words. “Uhh... Getting a double mastectomy to reduce the risk of breast cancer?” Those must be the magic words Adam thought to himself! After all, he always heard his mother talking about getting a double mastectomy! Duh!

“The magic word was French fries but I’ll take it.” Jesus goes and finds the seeds Adam is talking about and plants them in the pot, before returning to his beloved’s side.

_**A WILD AUTHOR 4 APPEARS** _

**A4:WHAT DID I JUST WALK INTO SGAVSBBWN**

**A2:KAKFFLLSLFG**

**A1:JOIN US**

**A1:JOIN OUR CRACK MINECRAFT SMUT FIC**

**A2: teehee emoji x3**

"Yay~ Now what are we gonna do, Susje?" Adam smiled and started to blush again, thinking of what Susje was gonna do next.

**A4:IDK HOW TO MAKE MY TEXT LOOK LIKE THAT LMAO**

**A2:IM SORRRY MOCA PKEASE VIVER YOYR EYES**

**A4:IT'S OKAY HAGU I'LL BE FINE**

**A1:moca write stuff**

**A1:continue the story**

Susej smiles thinking about all the things that he could do to Adam. “We’re gonna make some watermelons"

**A4:but idk who to join a s-**

**A1:it’s not rp**

**A2:just add on to the story lmao**

**A1:if u need inspiration, see what we’ve written already**

“H-How did you know watermelons were my favorite?” Adam gasped. “Are you a psychic?”

"Yo yo yo, SUP' bitches? It's your boy Uwawa.~ Back at it again with my d i amond pickaxe, diamond sword, shit you can't afford.~" This weird bony-ass skeleton man default-danced thinking he was cool-

**A2:hEHDJFKDLSKF  
** **A4:i'm crying i didn't know what to writevebbevsvsnsn**

_**A WILF AUTHOR 5 APPEARS!** _

**A5:WHAT IS THUS**

**A2:WISODOFOSLFGKLSF**

”OH MY GOD I SWEAR WE WEREN’T DOING ANYTHING" Adam yells at the sight of a default dancing skeleton

**A5:I WANNA CONTRIBUTE BUT IM LOST**

**A4:HAVSVVSBSHSHSB**

**A1:just scroll up and read what we wrote starting from the first instance of special block text  
**

“I can do threesomes,” Jesus said. “Wanna grow a jungle tree?” 

"Bruh, i'm in-" His german accent got in the way of everything- "and in return, you can touch my diamond sword-" Uwawa winked at Jesus."

Adam could feel his inventory switching to his stone sword as he looked at the hot, German skeleton leaning on a GIANT diamond sword

**A2:hagu died**

**A1:rip**

“So you two are both bottoms right?” Jesus asked. 

**A1:it’s ok we have 2 more things**

**A1:authors**

**A1:that's what they're called**

**A5:IM CRYING I READ THE WHOLE THING**

**A2:wanna join in  
**

**A5:THIS IS BEAUTIFUL**

**A1:join**

**A5:idk how to join uh  
**

**A1:just continue the story**

**A2:just add on to the story**

**A1:do it and you’re cool  
**

**A2:you can use any character you want**

**A5:ok**

"I'm.. not a bottom.. i-i'm a filthy top..!" The dumb bottom bitch whined, going to Adam's side. "I would never be a b-bottom..- "

**A2:**

**“hey remember chess kg S1”  
“Yeah what about it”  
“Remember when we wrote a crack Minecraft smut fic between skeletons”**

**A1:that's what I want you to remember**

"I'm not a top or a bottom, i guess i'm a fidget spinner" adam replied

**A2:any new members looking back at S1 I am so sorry**

**A2:HAKSLDLGD**

**A4:HAVSVSHJSBSBSB FIDGET SPINNER ADAM**

**A1:don't be sorry**

“Aw yea baby spin for me,” Jesus said while taking out his my little pony themed fidget spinner.

**A5:UDKKFKGKTO**

**A4:HACVSHSJSBSB**

”Hey guys, don’t leave me out” Uwawa says with a heavy German accent while pulling out a fortnite fidget spinner 

**A4:HAVSVBSNSBJS**

**A5:IM CRYING I HATE AND LOVE THIS**

”Adam honey! What’s all that noise you’re making? Are you trying to summon herobrine again?”

"MOM GET THE FRICK OUT MY L I F E I'M PLAYING MINECRAFT" Adam shouted at his mom

**A2:hKDDKDKGLLS**

**A4:HAVSVSVSVSVVS**

"does anyone want a taste of big fat german sausig? 100% beef, not like puny american sausig.." Uwawa spoke, taking out a pack of Kielbasa-

**A3:i**

**A1:woah getting spicy here  
**

**A3:I DIED AND IM BACK BUT I**

**A4:OH HI HAGU  
**

**A5:HEY HAGU**

**A3:LMAO HELLO**

“Oh hold on I have to put Rarity down first. She doesn’t like getting dirty.” Jesus pulls a rarity doll out of nowhere and places her on Adam’s bed.

**A4:HAVBSHSJDBDBBS I C AN'T  
** **A5:JSKFJKFKF**

**A3:IM**

**A3:IN FUCNFINF**

**A2:idk why he suddenly became a Briney**

**A2:bring**

**A2:bront**

**A5:broney**

**A2:ok I give up**

”what the frick is that?” Adam says while thinking about the thick, juicy, meaty sausage uwawa is holding.

**A3:om fucnfinf crying ehy has this becone morr cur s ed**

**A2:SKFKFKDKFGP**

**A5:JT HAS**

**A1:good muahahah**

"It's sausig, would you like some? Mama made it before she died 400 years ago. I think you want some.~ Here you go.~" His German accent was heavy as he took one of the sausages and shoved it in Adam's mouth-

**A2:I’m**

**A4:kinky skeleton? y uh  
**

**A1:adam’s mom walks in, the end**

**A2:AGJKIDGIKG**

**A2:it ends with “we’ll be rightback”**

**A2:right back*  
**

**A4:uwawa can explain, it's because he's foreign and foreign people are fuckin weird  
**

**A1:can we just end with that**

**A4:yes**

**A2:KADKFKSKFG**

**A2:yes**

**A1:k time to make it into a fan fiction**

_**THE END** _


End file.
